Sunday, January 4, 2009

Something about this New Year

This year seems new to me. I am usually not a big freak when it comes to new year's and I am no where close in preparing new year plans and achievements and all.. but this time it is different. I really cant remember when was the last I was so excited about a "New Year". I just can’t wait for it. I want to move on and I can't wait for good things to unfold in front of me. There is this sudden abundance of excitement and hope and enthusiasm that is making me have this slight ticklish happiness inside of me, like a child. Gosh I miss this feeling. I have forgotten this feeling, and now when it came back to me I am so hesitant to take it, but yet I want it. Why was I hesitant I was wondering yesterday before I went to sleep, only to realize I’ve been thru so so so many problems that I actually forgot and lost touch on how to be truly happy inside. So all I did yesterday nite was nothing but wondering and wondering.. why it took me so many years to get back this inner happiness, why didn’t I do something about it, why didn’t I look in the mirror and ask my good self which was so patient with me torturing myself all this way that "why I let myself go with the problems I had rather than fixing it fast".

Then as I was thinking, the answers just passed by me like "minnal" like "va maa minnaaaal " like that.. just zuuppp.. Was so fast that I had to rewind and slow play it. Mr.Answer was there and he said, hanusha darling you are nothing but a piece of crap :s. Opps sorry.. typo :p Mr.Answer said, no humans can live without a problem and only a problem makes you realize your strength and here, you have discovered your strength. No humans realize they can come out of a problem easily, because by thinking they are having problems, having problems and having problems they directly or indirectly are inviting themselves to nothing else but problems, which was what I was doing without realizing. I kept saying to myself I am having problems and It’s difficult and it’s impossible and all the negative things. It was like digging a hole with myself in, and as I keep digging thinking the treasure is down there for me to solve my problems, I didn’t realize that I was digging myself into a deeper hole that I will just struggle to come out from, and that was my biggest mistake said mr.answer. Even though I have solved most of my problems, the way that I handled it was the one that changed my life experience. It prolonged my suffering. I wasted lots of time recovering. I didn’t use my time effectively, and eventually the long suffering made me forget the true meaning of being completely “relieved!” I could have solved it in an easier way by being positive and saying only the good things, instead I made it difficult to solve the problem by complaining and blaming my self. Here I learned that any problem can be solved just easily with the same lesson learnt and mr.answer agreed with me.

As I was thinking, mr.answer said to me this special thing: - Right at this very moment your problems are resolved (whether is resolved or not it doesn’t matter) but right now it’s resolved. You have no problems. You have no worries. You have no doubts. You have no obligations. You are free. You are happy. And then he asked me to BELIEVE in that. At that very moment I did and soon after I started feeling this "ticklish happiness" like I had when I was a child. Like I said above. This time, something about this happiness is telling me it will be there with me forever as long as I want it. Yes I want this happiness forever, and I hope the same for all. Thank you mr.answer for waking me up for real. I am enjoying this feeling as I type this blog right now. It feels great. And we all know, if we really want something we just have to ask. Ask ourselves. Cause mr.answer is always within us.

Last but not least a quote I read yesterday nite before I slept:- "Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step". This quote by Martin Luther King is just perfect for any situation rite.

Ok then, before I end below are some pictures taken during the countdown party at Plaza mont kiara. Was really fun. We shouted loud. Enjoyed 1 minute of crackers, had starbucks and did some dancing. haha.. was really nice.. Was a great way to start the year.

From Top Left :- Ruben (My bro)& Rujj. From bottom left :- Manu, Myself & Mein(Rujj's sis)


Giant crackers..

Amongst the crowd..


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Very rich and interesting articles, good BLOG!

Satya Seelan said...

I was there for new year too ;)

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